#162: The Hospital —Part # B — Part # 3 of Blog


It is a lovely day in Keaau, Hawaii, my new home as I write this and begin a new month — August —- but if I were in Japan with you all, I know where I would be. Flower viewing the beautiful Cherry Blossoms!

BLOG: #162: The Hospital —Part # B — Part # 3 of Blog

Still hoping with every part of my aching heart and all of my tears to go home and be with my Baby Paws whom I had left outside when the paramedics came after me, I was finally admitted to the hospital and sent upstairs. The room: # 316, a private one, was ready for me. This, I found out was where I would remain for just over a week.

There were plenty of nurses around when I first came in there and they stayed a long time too. In fact, they stayed so long I finally looked at one nurse and told her that if the rest did not hurry up and finish their job, whatever it was they were doing, I was going to have go to the bathroom soon. The nurse looked at me and smiled. Time passed and they were all still there. Just doing their thing…….whatever it was……..to the point where I said: “OW!”— and looked at the nurse again.

Finally I said: “Nurse —- I REALLY HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. !” I paused and then added softly, “But I…. I can not get up. What am I supposed to do?”

The nurse smiled.

“Just go ahead,” she said.

“WHAT?” This came from me in a voice I swore was definitely NOT mine!

“It’s okay.” She said. “Just go ahead. They put the catheter in already. Just go ahead.”

“They put WHAT WHERE?”.

And yes, I knew what she meant. But I was still scared to go. I waited. Just a wee bit longer. Still ashamed. Afraid of wetting the entire hospital bed. But I still REALLY, REALLY, REALLY, NEEDED TO GO NOW. And everyone was STILL THERE. Was there no privacy???

I guessed not.

Finally, I couldn’t hold it anymore and it came out.

I sighed at last.

Then I looked up at the nurse and said apologizing, with a very hurt, ashamed, and embarrassed look on my face, wanting very much to hide on the sheet covers, : “I am Sorry.” She looked at me and I added: “I HAD to go. I couldn’t hold it any longer. I am SO sorry. I am SO ashamed.” I was ready to cry. I had never done anything like this. If felt so horrible.

I cried. As the tears came down my face I thought about how ashamed my Paws would be of me. And what God would think.

The nurse assured me it was okay. And patted my arm, smiling.

Then she had another nurse show me the catheter bag at the end of the bed.

I looked and my eyes suddenly became very wide as they could be.

“That’s where it went?”

The catheter bag was nearly full.

The nurse beside me nodded. “Now you can go any time.”

“And I ……. I won’t …… I won’t wet the bed?”

She assured me I would not.

I sighed, almost happily.

Finally, the nurses began to leave. And I began to relax. I was not worried about whether I had to do anything else. I had not done, what we call #2—as in Do-Do?in a while— a whole day. I was not worried over that at all. I was just glad I had gone to the bathroom and not wet the bed.

Again, I thought about Paws. Oh wow. How I missed him!

I relaxed enough to take a nap.

When I woke, it was Supper time and everything I would have to eat that first night was written on a piece of paper which was laying on the tray with the covered foods.

And yes, I was hungry.

Going to bed however, later on, was another matter entirely.

This alone, brought along issues and burdens of its own.

Mary Annさんはカリフォルニア生まれです。